Indecent behind movement

I couldn't find a clip of this with the subtitles on it. But here is a gist of what they are saying...

Police: The lady with the bag, please stop running!

Police: Madam, why are you running?

Marjane: I'm trying to catch the bus

Police: You shouldn't run. Because when you run, your behind..erm...makes these indecent movements.

Marjane: THEN STOP LOOKING AT MY ASS!

Gummy Bear's Intro

It was the day after my birthday in 2007. I was coming home for break when I noticed my sister skulking around near the road. I didn't really take much notice at first. Just went inside had breakfast and went right back to work. But then when I came back home right after finishing work, there she was again. Still going around the same spot as if she had lost something.

I went up to her to ask what's going on and then she pointed towards the gutter. There inside the small ditch within the gutter I saw the most pitiful looking kitten. It had apparently fallen through a crack and couldn't get right back up.

Within 5 minutes my other sisters had joined us including my youngest bro and all of us began 'Operation: Rescue Kitten'. Our excited squeals, laughter and disappointed 'awwww's (when the kitten didn't fall for our bait) brought on a larger curious crowd. Soon enough nearly all the neighborhood kids had joined in our operation, including my most memorable neighbor, 'Freaky Chick No.1'.

It soon occurred to us after much coaxing and pleading with the kitten to come near the crack so we could grab it- which it didn't, the only way to get it out was to lift the extremely heavy cement block off.

So we took turns trying to lift it but alas non of us could. Not even an inch. So one of us found a stick. It could be one of the neighborhood kids or it could be my step mothers son, Elf, not sure who it was exactly. But we stuck one end of the stick into the crack and pushed the other end down. And it did lift. The cement block was off the ground nearly 10 inches wide, before the stick broke in half and block fell with a heavy thud.

Right at that moment my cousin, Kudey showed up. We explained to him what was going on. He thought about it for a second and tried to lift the cement block by himself. He pulled with all his might and was able to lift it a couple of inches before dropping it again. He tried once again with the same result. After that he tried once more and this time he was able to lift it high enough to create a wide arc.

I stood there thinking, 'Oh dear! What if he couldn't hold it and ends up dropping it while one of us was crouching under the block trying to get the kitten out?'

But no sooner I thought this through, my brother bravely leapt inbetween the cement block and the ditch and snatched the kitten out. There was much 'hurrey' and clapping and the stone block was slowly lowered down.

My bro held up the scruffy-flea-infested-nearly-starved-to-death kitten as if it was a trophy. All the kids gathered around to look at it and finally he gave it to me and asked, "What shall we name it?"

I held it up and said, "I shall name you Gummy and you shall be mine."

And that's the story of Gummy Bear and erm... everyone lived happily ever after. Even Freaky Chick No. 1.

The End

Pictures courtesy of:
Gummy 1 month old by Sham
Recent pic of Gummy by Bulhaa

Death Making Rounds

The Continuous Series of Unfortunate Events

This is actually supposed to be my last post of 2008 but due to circumstances like laziness, I was prevented from writing this last year. So fueled by guilt and caffeine here goes nothing.

Right up until December 2008 I seemed to have had a pretty much lukewarm year of good days and bad days but never really excellent days nor really, really bad days...that is up until December 2008.

December Phenomenon
As far as I can recall December has always been a bad month for me. Call it bad luck. Jinx. Cursed. Anything.

I remember days of having terribly bad colds every December during third term tests in school and having to sit right in front of the chalk board with right along that cold. (The teacher thought we were good friends you see)

I also remember after finishing school and joining the rat race, days of disappointment in December when my annual increment is nothing more than just a mare Rf200.00 bucks or worse not being paid at all.

2008 however seemed to have packed quite a punch…
December 2008
1- My cashcard got expired mid-month without warning. This happened even after I called up a friend at the bank and he reassured me that, 'no it won't expire till the month ends'

2- When my card expired I had only Rf30/- as cash on me. That's it. Nada

3- After the card fiasco I come to work next week on Saturday and right on the dot the power goes off. I was later told that we won't have electricity till after 14:30. Apparently some people at work already knew of this and had completed all their work on Friday. You guys are probably thinking that this is good news and that I can goof off and chalk up Saturday as an off day. Wrong!! I still gotta complete my work.

3- So I go home that morning and come back in the afternoon all relaxed and ready to finish my work. That is when my PC won't start. I tried to start it again. Nothing. I begged, screamed, kicked, begged some more; to start, damn you, start. Still Nothing.

4- The IT kid tells me that hard disk may be corrupted or whatever lingo it is and he'll have to format it. He didn't make any promises of saving any of my files.

5- So being broke and having to use someone else's computer at work, I decided to become a hermit and just stay home, so as to distance myself from any further bad luck that might befall upon me.

But then not everything was so bad and although all my plans for New Year's Eve were a bust, I still managed to make the best of everything and actually have some fun with a couple of my friends. So I guess it wasn't all too bad ;)

Happy New Year Everyone!

Nostalgia, Electioneering with a splash of Iced Toddy

The very world surrounding us is a changing. For worse or for better, who knows? 8th October maybe the day the world shifts for some of us. Or it may simply just carry on the way it did for the past 30 years.

I've tried to blog about politics. Gave it a few tries, deleted, tried some more, delete, delete some more. To tell the truth I was just one (or two, three) step behind the fast changing phase of Maldivian political scenarios, so I just made do with discussing them with my friends and family.

So instead of discussing politics I have a spanking great idea of making a nostalgia list. A Nostalgia List, you say?

Nostalgia: a wistful desire to return in thought or in fact to a former time in one's life, to one's home or homeland, or to one's family and friends -- Dictionary.com

So with the meaning aside. The list is a compilation of anything, anyone, anywhere that reminds of me the good old days. Others are most welcome to contribute.

* Remember those eyeliners we had that comes in a small tin. You rub a piece of rock (I don't know what it exactly is) on the solid eyeliner to turn bits into dust. Then you rub your fingers on the dust and line your eyes.

* The color pencil box that comes with a picture of a robot on the front. The robot had a 'TV' as a face.

* The plastic book bag with pictures of smiling fruits we carried for tuition.

* Majeedhuge. Majeedhu. (he can still invoke fear in me)

* Pencil Cases. Ones with Buttons!!!

* Bicycles. Riding them early in the morning.

* The sound of gun attacks on that eventful November day.

* Kao Shampoo!

* Phones at home. Real phones. Not mobile ones.

* Watching TVM. Only TVM

* Listening to Boduberu on radio early every morning.

* Waking up at 8:00am is considered sleeping in.

* Sleeping at 9:00pm is considered sleeping late.

* Iced Toddy

* Haunted school toilets

* Girls Just Wanna Have Fun - Cyndi Lauper

* UB40, Duran Duran, Aha, MJ, Madonna, Rob Stewart, Dire Straits, The Bangles, Bob Marley etc

* Hindi Movies

* Bad copy English Movies

* Itty bitty shorts for boys, Huge, scratchy princess style dresses for girls with alice bands.

Ok I'm gonna stop for now... If I remember more, I'll include them.


To top it off I'll just add these lines as a sign off and dedication to Maldivian Politics:

I will stop, I will stop at nothing.
Say the right things when electioneering
I trust I can rely on your vote.

When I go forwards you go backwards
and somewhere we will meet.
When I go forwards you go backwards
and somewhere we will meet.
Ha ha ha

Riot shields, voodoo economics,
it's just business, cattle prods and the I.M.F.
I trust I can rely on your vote.

"Electioneering" by Radiohead

I divorced my dream guy in my dreams!

Writer's block. Writer's block. Writer's block. Lets start with a dream.

Last night I had a rather interesting dream. I dreamt my little sister's were getting married and not wanting to be left out I decided to get married along with them. I've really no idea who the guy was and in the dream I didn't seem to care less. All I can recall was a tall, quiet, slim guy who just left me to my destructive ways. Anyhoo I got married. The wedding was all blah blah same old same old things. I don't think they even played The Beatles there which by the way is my biggest wish.

So the next day (still in the dream) things were basically back to normal. I finished work. Met up with my friend, V who asked how my husband was. I paused for a while and remembered. "Good lord. There's a guy waiting for me at 'our' house."

I told her something as if like waving the question away and mentally began plotting on a divorce.

I can't believe it!! A guy can't even hold my attention long enough even in a dream. I got bored in one day!! I got up from my sleep feeling apprehensive and wondering how many marriages I would go through like this.

Annnnd in other news, my mom (of all people) are facing peer pressure from our neighbors. These women, me and brothers had lovingly labeled as 'Desperate Housewives', are actually lecturing my mom on wearing the veil. They chide her for her 'lack of attire' and have even promised to donate an entirely new wardrobe - for free. My mom had finally told them she would do it at the start of ramadan just to get them off her back. Hmmmmm... I wonder how she's gonna dig herself out of this. We'll keep you posted.

My resolution of cutting back costs is still ongoing with some minor glitches...

- Only one shopping spree and no impulsive shopping. (glitch: I've spent Rf 400.00 in one go for just cosmetics)
- No more shoes and heels unless I NEED them. (no glitches)
- Only ONE coffee outing. (glitch: The bad side is that my phone bill is increasing)
- No taxies! (glitch: My legs. My poor legs)

P.S: I just put up that Elijah Wood pic just for the heck of it. And coz I enjoy looking at him.

Face Veil, Pitchforks and Emotional Blackmail

A couple of weeks back I got a call from a cousin of mine whom I haven't seen in a very long time. Probably 5 years now. Well she got married at an extremely young age, has a bunch of kids now and lives in Vaikaradhoo (my mom's island).

One thing I can say about my cousin is she loves a good laugh. She never tends to take things too seriously. Well all this was way back then.

Anyway she had finally gotten my number and rang me up one night and decided to catch up.

(After all the hello's, how are you's, ho hum hums...)
Cousin: So when are you going to visit?

Me: Maybe later this year when I take holiday.

Cousin: Do you wear the buruga?

Me: No hehehehe

Cousin: Really? Then how are going to come here? Everyone here wears it. I wear Moonu Buruga now.

Me: (bit shocked) Really. Why do u wear that?

Cousin: My husband told me to

Me: Oh i see. I thought you should wear these things after making the decision by yourself. Not cause someone told you to.

Cousin: Anyway are you married now?

Me: hehehe no

Cousin: Why not? You must be 20 by now

Me: 25

Cousin: (laughs really loudly) My goodness! You're getting old. You should get married before you turn into a grandma.

Me: I'm young! hehehehe I'm not old yet.

(By this time my cousin was basically rolling around on the floor i suppose, coz she was laughing so hard and i was beginning to sound whiny) :P

The next day my cousin sends me a pic of her through my mom's phone. Lo and behold stood was my cousin against a blue wall, face veil and all. A second later she calls again.

Cousin: Well? Waddaya think?

Me: I barely recognized you

Cousin: (deadpan tone) You didn't???? Why not??

Heehehe it was nice hearing from her after all a long time. And I can see her humor hasn't changed much.

Now I'm wondering whether I should visit the island. It would be an experience I suppose. Either the local folks will drive me mad or they'll chase me off the island with pitch forks. My cousin's husband helpfully said he has a speed launch ready in case...

Anyway I was also wondering about Nahula's new movie Yousuf. According to my friend, all the shows were fully booked. I haven't seen it but I've seen a bit of the trailer. So my question is...

Nahula's Yousuf:

A) A work of art

B) Emotional Blackmail

The High School

Right first and foremost I'd like to state that I regret asking a certain someone to nag me. Not only did he not nag for what i asked he nagged for the wrong article all together. So there.

OK now that we have that out of the way, back to the post. Since my recent introduction into Maldivian blogs I couldn't help but notice certain "sects" in this sphere. Certain groups. It's almost like a high school. The popular crowd, the nerds (or intellectuals if I may), the artists, the goths and of coz cheerleaders. Let me describe them with a bit more flair ...

The Frat Boyz: They have a swagger in their writing. A certain strut. A certain “I own this bit of the universe and there ain’t nothing you can do about it” blogging attitude. They have their standards, they have their ideologies (some very highly opinionated ones as well) and they have their coffees. Plus you can smell the leather and the cigarettes all the way from the monitor.

The Pop Princesses: Mostly this group consists of teens and girls in their early twenties (and a very rare breed who are a bit older). You can recognize them first off with their username, which consist of a colour followed by some sugary sweet noun that might leave you feeling a bit queasy as if you had eaten an entire carton of sugar plus honey. You can also recognize them by their "MySpace-y" lookalike blog, with wedges in every crook and cranny. And they also have a tendency to write their blogs center aligned. And oh yea loads of (sugar sweet/ bittersweet) poems.

The Gang War Zone: These come in different areas. Be it political wars or religious wars. It’s basically like watching a tennis match. Nuff said.

The Chess Club: These are the intellectuals. The older and wiser bloggers. They normally blog intelligent articles on everything and nothing. The highs and the lows. Even if you’re not big on reading, you can still recognize them by their easy on the eyes, minimalist blog decoration.

The Starving Artists: In short, the flickrs. They flickr here. They flickr there. They flickr everywhere. If it’s not a flickr account it is a creative and cool blog designs and food for thought creative, be it photos, art or even written pieces.

The Class Clowns: The satire blogs that pokes fun at everything including themselves. You can’t ever expect them to take themselves seriously. Ever.

Well I guess that’s about all I can come up with. I’m sure there are more. Maybe you can help me out in the gray area where I had become fuzzy. =)

Zombies!

I normally have this unusual obsession with things that I'm scared of. I have always been terrified of zombies (yeah you can laugh here) but that never stopped me from watching zombie flicks, sometimes even alone just for the thrill of it, though recently I have sort of sworn off horror movies for some reason I can't remember. hmmmm.....

Anyway recently I saw this weird movie on HBO. The starting of it is curious. It had me guessing what genre the movie was. Was it a kids movie or was it a zombie flick. You can't tell... The movie was full of bright colors, quirky characters and whimsical background music. And yet there were flesh eating gory zombies running around everywhere.

I asked myself dare I watch this. I kept thinking of switching to another channel but I was already hooked. In the movie there is a boy and his family hires a zombie to do their housework. Yea, housework. Anyhoo the boy is at first skeptical about how safe the whole thing is (understandably) but later establishes a friendship with the decaying help.

By now I'm expecting the zombie to goble up the boy any time now. Didn't happen. Then I expected the zombie to goble up the boy's mom. Didn't happen. The boy's dad. That didn't happen either. By now I had sighed in relief that there would be no gobling of anyone in this movie. But then to my utter horror the zombie eats the boy's neighbor, old Mrs. Handerson. She in turn changes into a zombie and attacks someone else.... You get my drift by now I suppose.

I think the movie was actually pretty good. There are some squirmy parts like zombie kissing (eeech) but I'd still give it 4/5. By the way the movie is called 'Fido'. Check out the trailer.

Simmering pick and pluck
Tenderize bone to dust
The sweetest grease, finest meat you'll ever taste

So you scream, whine, and yell
Supple sounds of dinner bell
We all will feed the worms and trees So don't be shy

Swallow and chew
Eat you alive
All of us food, that hasn't died

... mosquito song by Queens of the Stone Age

A blood sucking vampire or a thalassemia patient?

It doesn't really make me angry when a person confuse me for being sick. I've had countless teachers in the past give me sad, sympathetic looks whenever they saw my frail, skinny, little frame. It was understandable since I was a year younger than the rest of the students (my mom apparently couldn't wait to send me off to school). There were in fact perks for being so small. The teachers gave you a break if you don't complete your homework and some of them even forgo punishment. :D

Anyway now that I've grown and filled out a bit, I can't understand why people still come up to me and ask, "Are you a thalassemia patient?" .....really.....they actually ask me that. Normally in a quiet, worried voice. So anyhoo, I've decided to make a list of those who confused me for being a thelassemia patient...

* My Sixth Grade Dhivehi teacher : One day just out of the blue she asked.

* Some girl at Sheri Salon: She actually swore to the receptionist that I'm the first thalassemia patient to have undergone a bone marrow transplant. (who'd knew!!!)

* According to a work colleague, the office gossip states that I might be one of them thalassemia patient.

* One of the neighbors who lives below our office stops me one day in the stairwell and asks (same hushed, saddened tone) if I'm a 'T' patient.

* One of the women who goes to aerobics with me.

* A friend's husband (who asked his wife for confirmation)

* A friend's wife (who asked her husband for confirmation) - this actually happened this morning.


hmmmmm....i might've missed a few....anyway I keep wondering why this happens to me. This is what I got so far...

... Earlier I had assumed it was because I was scarily thin but that's hardly the case anymore.

... Next I thought there might be someone who looks exactly like me.

... One of people who asked me said it was because of my cheeks. Cheeks??! Yes, cheeks.

... One of them also said something about my forehead! (don't ask, I've no idea myself)

... My friend says, that I actually might be a thalassemia patient and that I just haven't realized it yet coz I turn into blood sucking vampire every night and feed upon helpless victims.


Personally I like that last one. Makes more sense to me considering how thin my close friends, V and D are...

The Round Table Bargain

There we were, all sitting around a round table. Me sitting right next to the devil. He pushes a piece of paper towards me.

Devil: Here you go. I believe this is what you had in mind before you came to our meeting.

Me: hmmmm.....(going over the paper)...wait... I also recommended pain's involvement in this.

Devil: Errmm...actually, we...er...had a problem with that.

Me and the Devil looked over at Pain who was sitting across from us.

Pain: (with a nasty expression on his face and shrugs) I want no involvement on this.

Me: Oh come on!

Pain: Forget it!!

Sanity: Please!! (looks imploringly towards me) Don't do this. Just think of the consequences.

Me: (ignores Sanity's pleas and faces the Devil instead). You also promised me no Pain.

Devil: Yeah...welll.. I'm afraid there's nothing I can do about it. Their mind is pretty much made up.

Me: hmpf... fine then. It's a deal.

Devil: (beams) excellent. I'm glad every thing's in order then. I've been after your soul for a while.

We all stood. Sanity still grumbling under her breath follows a couple of steps behind me as we all leave.

Pain: (standing behind everyone) and oh by the way... I might visit once in a while and if you don't mind I'll bring along Sick as well...

I shoot Devil a look and he shrugs and shook his head as if to say he can't help it.

Me: Fine. As long as I get my share.

A colleague of mine inspired me to write this. He always complains that I never take sick leave. So here you go. Here's the reason. Sick has been pretty mild with me whenever he visited. Pain as usual visits me often these days just for his sick pleasure. As for Death. He's keeping his end of the bargain.